I went on a journey of self discovery today
gf: babe come over
me (a lawnmower) : no i cant im cutting the grass and you live in the sky
gf: my parents are out
im so glad my boyfriends penis is 2 bread lengths long (:
Who the fuck measures dick size in bread
shocking update from updated satellite images reveal missouri does, in fact, not exist
i fucking knew it
Hippo doesn’t have time for this
Hippo got shit to do.
Hippo got swimming to do.
Hippo got shit to do and places to be
ain’t nobody fuck with hippo
me on my way to steal your man
“In case of an emergency this airplane is designed with 8 exits located around you.”
i WA S LAUGHING SO HARD I COULDNT EVNE REBLOG FOR A FEW MINUTES
Here’s the fixed version the hamster playing the proper instrument
thanks sometimesisayshit for the clip!